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KITCHEN ITEMS YOU DON'T NEED

by J.C. Polkinghorne

Hello, ominvores, herbivores, and carnivores!

Today, I'm changing focus just a wee bit. Instead of giving you something to cook, I'm going to talk about what you needn't be cooking with. Still with me? First off...a garlic peeler. Don't you dare buy one! Why would you? If you have trouble peeling garlic, try this: Cut off that little tough bit at the bottom of the clove, lay it on your cutting board and smash lightly with the side of a knife blade. You'll hear a crunch and the peel will have opened a bit to make life easier.

Speaking of knives: pizza cutters. Why? Someone recently asked me what I use to cut pizza, since I didn't have a special cutter. I hummed Mack The Knife as I showed her the business end of mine. For my sake, bubbelah, go buy yourself a 10" chef's knife. It can be cheap, but save for a better one.

Lemon presses? Lime presses? What are you, meschuggenah? Either buy a plain old reamer or one of those sweet old juicers that you always seem to see for 75 cents at the thrift shop. Don't want to buy anything? Even better. Use a spoon or fork.

Remember, kids, just like in every other marketing gulag, "If you build it, they will come." Now don't be a schmo, use some sense. By the way, comments, queries and the like are always welcome.

Yours in butterfat,

Hermione

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