January 14, 2001
2000 was a holding pattern year; the charm of three fat zeroes far more
appealing than the asymmetry of two fat zeroes and a one. It was a
of lust based on appearances, and aftermath once those gleaming white
teeth and perfect skin proved insufficient for a real relationship.
At the beginning of 2000 the stock markets on either side of the border
were rich old men doting on their sixteenth nineteen year old wives.
Little did their new brides know they'd wed the brothers Bluebeard and
soon they'd be just so many moldering heads on the wall.
Politically we saw the same in both Canada and America. Voters turned
out for no good reason and nothing good came of it except a six week
ratings spike: in Canada before the election; in the US, afterward.
There were few books or movies that made us wish we were good friends
with their perpetrators.
There were no great triumphs in the year 2000 because, as much as we
wanted to discount both the pedants who insisted like stepchildren
"you're not our REAL millenium"; as much as we wanted to cancel out
superstitious numerology, atheism and rationalism are new conceits and
not easily displace the unease in sleeping arteries. Perhaps one blood
cell can rise up and attempt to overwhelm its fellows: stop, I say,
that oxygen around! But the majority, however educated or enlightened
superficial they feel to be, are still subject to the smooth thud of
Corroded old hearts showed themselves, purply overripe and slick,
with white strata, full of lampblack and boredom. One cannot imagine
them supporting a body. They are not evil, they are not savage, they
There is neither virtue nor shame in being old; the merits of age are
largely inventions to justify keeping someone alive who can no longer
chew his own food. This is not a mean-spirited observation: more
things are done for love every day by those who believe that they are
purely rational beings.
Now that we know we can have money without love, we're asking, can we
have love without money?
It's astonishing that the western world outlaws prostitution, when
virtually all its successes say the best thing to do in life is "find
what you like doing and then find someone to pay you for it"! If that
isn't prostitution, what is! If it is prostitution, so what? The only
sick thing about prostitution -- which was once a sacred, ah, position
is that people can be forced into it because they feel they have no
option -- which is only a little sicker than someone being forced to
become a lawyer or a plumber! What kind of jackasses are more
in defining why ice is lighter than water but not why Jim hates his
Nothing can be resolved so long as the preservation of the ego is more
important than the sanity of the host. So long as a restriction is
absurd it will be violated, and the definition of justice simplified to
"that which is not laughable".
Talk, talk, talk! We want to have fun! We want to wave our wild tails
where it pleases us! We want to be happy, we want to love, and if this
isn't what all our civilization is leading us to, being happy and
fun and being able to love, then what good is it? None! So screw it
all! Strip down, 2001, let's see that womanly round belly giggle,
your legs and drive us into the new millenium!