The Net Net Home


















Contribute Masthead About Home


by AjD

Buy Viva La Woman!

I've got this friend, right, well, actually, it's a friend of his but it really happened, right?

So, anyway, like I was sayin, this, like, this friend of mine's friend, he said once that this guy he saw was in New York City, and he, like, saw this guy on the street and he was playing the trumpet or something like that. Not the guy I-- well, my friend he knew, but the guy that guy saw on the street.

Pass that weed, man. You don't know how to roll.

So he was playing trumpet on the street. No, the other guy was. And he was, like, making his living right on the street there. I couldn't believe it, man. He was just, like, he was out there. On the street. And he was playin' trumpet. Like, he wasn't in a band or nothin'. Weird.

Where's the lighter?

So this guy goes into a club or somethin' 'cause the name was really goofy. He was probably thinkin', "Hell, I just saw three weirdest things in my life right now, right? so I should get a beer." And they wanted five bucks for the beer, man! FIVE BUCKS!

Y'know something? I would'a just walked out right there. I woulda' said, "Fuck this beer, man. For five bucks, it ain't worth it. Gimme water." But hey. He said he hung around, then this band started jammin' on stage.

Dunno. It wasn't like Journey. They didn't do any Rush songs. The name was, um, somethin'. "Seyebow moddo" or somethin'. "Cibo Motto". I think. Gonna get the record if they have it. Hope it's not that Compact Record or Disk or whatever it is. The computer thingy. Can't play it on the record player.

They were singin' about white paper ice cream. No, pepper ice cream. Yeah. They were singing about pepper ice cream. Weird, man. Like, some sort of jazz beat, only it was like rap. Not the singing, tho' that was kinda' like rap. But it wasn't really. There was kinda' a rap-jazz thing or somethin'.

How the hell should I know? I wasn't there. It was this other guy.

So, they're singing about pepper ice cream, which is REALLY weird, y'know. He says it's all kinda' sad an' mournful and there's almost this trumpet in the background, like it's the guy out on the street makin' his living, right? And then they start singing about beef jerky and, like, after a couple songs, the guy's like, "hey, all these songs are food!"

I mean, no, like, the songs are ABOUT food. yeah.

So they're rapping about food, only they're not rappers, they're Chinese women. Or Japanese. Something. They got those voices like they're...

Shut up, Earl. You sound like an asshole.

Serious. Like, they're singing about food. Weird, huh. I mean, you try singing about food down at The Tap Room and everybody's gonna throw food at you, right? So this must be some weird New York thing. So they're being really rude, and they're singing about food, heh.

Pass that joint, Earl. You're 86'd.

Am not.

So this guy -- the guy my friend knows. Not the trumpet guy. He says that they're singing 'bout food, and they're talkin' like Earl here, and they're not takin' any sass. This guy figures he's gonna see the show now. Says they're crankin' like they love it. They're doin' rap and they're singin' and they're doin', like, they're LOUD and he says it's weird, 'cause they're these Japanese chicks and they're just CRANKIN', an' they're doin' stuff about chicken and artichokes and birthday cakes, like weird.

Like I says, I'm gettin' the record. Figure it'll weird out the roommates, y'know?

Yeah, right, Earl. Like, you get it and you can make your folks think like you finally got a woman in your room. Shut up.

So like I was sayin', so next they're doing some tune, and he's sayin', "hey, what is this. It's like it's..."

Then he's scratchin' his head. 'Cause it's just like on the tip of his tongue, y'know?

So then he gets a flash, and it's like, "They're singin' Candy Man." An' it don't sound like the Sammy Davis song at all. Not at all. He's sayin' it's goin' low, and they sound like it's about sex or something'. Maybe they mean somethin' different by "Candy man" in the city or somethin'.

Yeah. I dunno. Maybe all this food stuff is like they're talking about something else when they're talking about food. Dunno why not, though. Must be like some Japanese thing or somethin'.

So I figure he made that up or somethin'. It's not like he found a hook on his car door or somethin', like my uncle did back when he was in college. He's, like, still got that hook, he says.

Break's over. Who's cleanin' the fryer tonight?

The Net Net is affiliated with
All contents of this Web site are copyright © 1996 - 2001 The Net Net and individual artists and authors. Do not reproduce contents of this site without permission of The Net Net and the artist or author. You may link to this site freely.
Design by Marmoset Media. Illustrations by Les graphiques Grenade. Hosted by The Anteroom.