I've got this friend, right, well, actually, it's a friend of his
but it
really happened, right?
So, anyway, like I was sayin, this, like, this friend of mine's
friend, he
said once that this guy he saw was in New York City, and he, like,
saw this
guy on the street and he was playing the trumpet or something like
that.
Not the guy I-- well, my friend he knew, but the guy that guy saw on
the
street.
Pass that weed, man. You don't know how to roll.
So he was playing trumpet on the street. No, the other guy was. And
he was,
like, making his living right on the street there. I couldn't
believe it,
man. He was just, like, he was out there. On the street. And he was
playin'
trumpet. Like, he wasn't in a band or nothin'. Weird.
Where's the lighter?
So this guy goes into a club or somethin' 'cause the name was really
goofy.
He was probably thinkin', "Hell, I just saw three weirdest things in
my
life right now, right? so I should get a beer." And they wanted five
bucks
for the beer, man! FIVE BUCKS!
Y'know something? I would'a just walked out right there. I woulda'
said,
"Fuck this beer, man. For five bucks, it ain't worth it. Gimme
water." But
hey. He said he hung around, then this band started jammin' on
stage.
Dunno. It wasn't like Journey. They didn't do any Rush songs. The
name was,
um, somethin'. "Seyebow moddo" or somethin'. "Cibo Motto". I think.
Gonna
get the record if they have it. Hope it's not that Compact Record or
Disk
or whatever it is. The computer thingy. Can't play it on the record
player.
They were singin' about white paper ice cream. No, pepper ice cream.
Yeah.
They were singing about pepper ice cream. Weird, man. Like, some
sort of
jazz beat, only it was like rap. Not the singing, tho' that was
kinda' like
rap. But it wasn't really. There was kinda' a rap-jazz thing or
somethin'.
How the hell should I know? I wasn't there. It was this other guy.
So, they're singing about pepper ice cream, which is REALLY weird,
y'know.
He says it's all kinda' sad an' mournful and there's almost this
trumpet in
the background, like it's the guy out on the street makin' his
living,
right? And then they start singing about beef jerky and, like, after
a
couple songs, the guy's like, "hey, all these songs are food!"
I mean, no, like, the songs are ABOUT food. yeah.
So they're rapping about food, only they're not rappers, they're
Chinese
women. Or Japanese. Something. They got those voices like they're...
Shut up, Earl. You sound like an asshole.
Serious. Like, they're singing about food. Weird, huh. I mean, you
try
singing about food down at The Tap Room and everybody's gonna throw
food at
you, right? So this must be some weird New York thing. So they're
being
really rude, and they're singing about food, heh.
Pass that joint, Earl. You're 86'd.
Am not.
So this guy -- the guy my friend knows. Not the trumpet guy. He says
that
they're singing 'bout food, and they're talkin' like Earl here, and
they're
not takin' any sass. This guy figures he's gonna see the show now.
Says
they're crankin' like they love it. They're doin' rap and they're
singin'
and they're doin', like, they're LOUD and he says it's weird, 'cause
they're these Japanese chicks and they're just CRANKIN', an' they're
doin'
stuff about chicken and artichokes and birthday cakes, like weird.
Like I says, I'm gettin' the record. Figure it'll weird out the
roommates,
y'know?
Yeah, right, Earl. Like, you get it and you can make your folks
think like
you finally got a woman in your room. Shut up.
So like I was sayin', so next they're doing some tune, and he's
sayin',
"hey, what is this. It's like it's..."
Then he's scratchin' his head. 'Cause it's just like on the tip of
his
tongue, y'know?
So then he gets a flash, and it's like, "They're singin' Candy Man."
An' it
don't sound like the Sammy Davis song at all. Not at all. He's
sayin' it's
goin' low, and they sound like it's about sex or something'. Maybe
they
mean somethin' different by "Candy man" in the city or somethin'.
Yeah. I dunno. Maybe all this food stuff is like they're talking
about
something else when they're talking about food. Dunno why not,
though. Must
be like some Japanese thing or somethin'.
So I figure he made that up or somethin'. It's not like he found a
hook on
his car door or somethin', like my uncle did back when he was in
college.
He's, like, still got that hook, he says.
Break's over. Who's cleanin' the fryer tonight?