I've got this friend, right, well, actually, it's a friend of his
really happened, right?
So, anyway, like I was sayin, this, like, this friend of mine's
said once that this guy he saw was in New York City, and he, like,
guy on the street and he was playing the trumpet or something like
Not the guy I-- well, my friend he knew, but the guy that guy saw on
Pass that weed, man. You don't know how to roll.
So he was playing trumpet on the street. No, the other guy was. And
like, making his living right on the street there. I couldn't
man. He was just, like, he was out there. On the street. And he was
trumpet. Like, he wasn't in a band or nothin'. Weird.
Where's the lighter?
So this guy goes into a club or somethin' 'cause the name was really
He was probably thinkin', "Hell, I just saw three weirdest things in
life right now, right? so I should get a beer." And they wanted five
for the beer, man! FIVE BUCKS!
Y'know something? I would'a just walked out right there. I woulda'
"Fuck this beer, man. For five bucks, it ain't worth it. Gimme
hey. He said he hung around, then this band started jammin' on
Dunno. It wasn't like Journey. They didn't do any Rush songs. The
um, somethin'. "Seyebow moddo" or somethin'. "Cibo Motto". I think.
get the record if they have it. Hope it's not that Compact Record or
or whatever it is. The computer thingy. Can't play it on the record
They were singin' about white paper ice cream. No, pepper ice cream.
They were singing about pepper ice cream. Weird, man. Like, some
jazz beat, only it was like rap. Not the singing, tho' that was
rap. But it wasn't really. There was kinda' a rap-jazz thing or
How the hell should I know? I wasn't there. It was this other guy.
So, they're singing about pepper ice cream, which is REALLY weird,
He says it's all kinda' sad an' mournful and there's almost this
the background, like it's the guy out on the street makin' his
right? And then they start singing about beef jerky and, like, after
couple songs, the guy's like, "hey, all these songs are food!"
I mean, no, like, the songs are ABOUT food. yeah.
So they're rapping about food, only they're not rappers, they're
women. Or Japanese. Something. They got those voices like they're...
Shut up, Earl. You sound like an asshole.
Serious. Like, they're singing about food. Weird, huh. I mean, you
singing about food down at The Tap Room and everybody's gonna throw
you, right? So this must be some weird New York thing. So they're
really rude, and they're singing about food, heh.
Pass that joint, Earl. You're 86'd.
So this guy -- the guy my friend knows. Not the trumpet guy. He says
they're singing 'bout food, and they're talkin' like Earl here, and
not takin' any sass. This guy figures he's gonna see the show now.
they're crankin' like they love it. They're doin' rap and they're
and they're doin', like, they're LOUD and he says it's weird, 'cause
they're these Japanese chicks and they're just CRANKIN', an' they're
stuff about chicken and artichokes and birthday cakes, like weird.
Like I says, I'm gettin' the record. Figure it'll weird out the
Yeah, right, Earl. Like, you get it and you can make your folks
you finally got a woman in your room. Shut up.
So like I was sayin', so next they're doing some tune, and he's
"hey, what is this. It's like it's..."
Then he's scratchin' his head. 'Cause it's just like on the tip of
So then he gets a flash, and it's like, "They're singin' Candy Man."
don't sound like the Sammy Davis song at all. Not at all. He's
goin' low, and they sound like it's about sex or something'. Maybe
mean somethin' different by "Candy man" in the city or somethin'.
Yeah. I dunno. Maybe all this food stuff is like they're talking
something else when they're talking about food. Dunno why not,
be like some Japanese thing or somethin'.
So I figure he made that up or somethin'. It's not like he found a
his car door or somethin', like my uncle did back when he was in
He's, like, still got that hook, he says.
Break's over. Who's cleanin' the fryer tonight?